“My story is my story and I am not ashamed of anything” – interview with Laura Gierl of The Tex Avery Syndrome

We’ve written about The Tex Avery Syndrome several times – the reason is simple: because they are great (you can find the full interview here). Their brand new track, “Like Sand” came out last week – we had a short chat about it with the frontwoman of The Tex Avery Syndrome, Laura Gierl.

-The song is about toxic relationships. Was it inspired by a personal experience?

-The song is not about only one relationship I had, it’s a summary of a few experiences. Love relationships, blood relationships.

When I started writing the song I was trying to get over a broken heart, it was not a toxic relationship in particular. Towards the end, it was a whole mess though and I think it broke us both. The more I let the feelings flow I realized there is some more that needed to get out, especially since I was dealing with a certain topic during my therapy. It’s hard when the abuser is someone that has also done a lot of good things for you and then there are these ambivalent feelings that are also allowed to co-exist. But the constant confusion is very, very hard to handle. I guess people in toxic relationships can relate, it’s similar. Most of the pictures I draw in the song are figurative, but I realized you can also take them word for word. I don’t want to say too much about the story behind, the good thing about music is that everyone can read it differently depending on their own experiences.

-It’s a difficult topic, was it hard to put your feelings out there?

-Honestly, I don’t struggle with putting my feelings out there at all.

I am a very open person on one hand and on the other hand, when I write a song I am in the process of sorting my feelings out and I am not 3 steps ahead already, thinking about the release. My story is my story and I am not ashamed of anything. Nothing that has happened to me was my fault and I work hard for my mental health. Our whole debut album “ORIGIN” is about my trauma, my mental health struggles, and my losses and it took such a huge part in my healing process.

I think it’s important to say that I might have expressed my feelings of anger about someone in a song because it was what I felt back then, but I can be on good terms with that person now.

Some words and feelings in songs are still valid and accurate, even after years. Sometimes a song is just a quick polaroid that captured a moment, some songs are a scar that will remain your whole life.

-What’s the message of the song?

-I don’t think it has a particular message like “leave everyone that is bad for you or doing you harm.” It’s not always that easy. It’s often a long process.

Most of my messages are: look, that is what and how I feel: I am hurting, I am in pain, sometimes even crazy or lost, but now you know that you are not alone if you feel the same.

This song is a lot about trying to hold on to love and hope or the picture that you have about someone, but it continues to slip through your hands. It’s about being so full of love and hopes that you forgive the people that hurt you, but you struggle to forgive yourself, even though you deserve it the most. It’s about being stuck in a circle, you can’t find a way out, and all you want is deliverance.

-The video for the song is also a piece of art. Can you share some behind-the-scenes stories about it?

-Thank you for saying so. I had much bigger ideas, but with COVID-19, only a few shows in the past 2 years, and barely income it has not been easy for us. We definitely wanted to portray the growing (emotional) distance between two people, but also the longing for love but the inability to find it in each other. We shot the video in December and it was freezing cold. I think in some shots you can even see our breaths while performing. The outdoor scenes were filmed in October, I really enjoyed the dancing parts.

-Did you take part in the video directing also?

-I did. I have so many ideas for future videos. I would love to work with proper actors and dancers. Let’s hope for a good year, fingers crossed.

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"I associate heavy metal with fantasy because of the tremendous power that the music delivers." - Christopher Lee

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